My apologies for the delay in updating... I'm back!
Shaun King posted a note via the web that read, "it feels like we left the children of Haiti in a burning house."
I couldn't have said it any better myself. Though we did what we went to do and we left with smiles on our faces and in many of the Haitians hearts, I still feel as though I didn't do enough. There's nothing I can do about that feeling in my heart, but pray that the new generations of Haiti, the youth with such knowledge and bright futures that I spoke with will be strong and help bring change to their country. There will be many trips back to Haiti with the Courageous Church, however, I do not see it in my timeline in the near future.
For me, Haiti was placed in my heart simply for the experience. I say that to say this... on my first day in Haiti I had something like a nervous break down. I questioned my being there. Was I selfish in coming? I did not feel that sadness in my heart as many people did. Quite honestly, I was ready to come home! I spoke with my mother who calmed me instantly and I sat down a table with random missionaries (not from my group). We exchanged a bit of conversation and then I broke. They gathered around me and asked if they could pray for me. In their prayer they asked God to ease my heart and to open my mind. Long story short, we began to talk again and I could feel the bitterness lifting up out of me as if God himself stuck his hand down my throat and pulled it out of my heart. They talked about past mission trips and how their most memorable moments were from UGANDA!!! To brief those of you who are unfamiliar with my story - Kampala, Uganda is where God lead me to before Haiti. No matter what I've done, refused to do, ignored in my spirit... God always brings me back to the mission he placed in my heart for Uganda. I am grateful for my experience in Haiti and maybe it will be for me to return some day... until then I am still raising money for October's trip to Uganda.
I wish I could've updated while in Haiti to share my experience in depth with you, but I did not have access to a computer. However, I will give you the quick version... next post!